Building Bridges: Embracing Pluralism and Effective Communication in Governance
Explore insights on handling tough conversations, promoting societal pluralism, and connecting with your audience through education-focused leadership
Welcome to this week’s edition of TL;dr, where we distill key insights from thought-provoking articles relevant to good governance. This week, we explore strategies for handling disagreements constructively, promoting pluralism in society, and improving leadership communication. Each article offers valuable lessons for good governance and community engagement. I’ve used many of these techniques myself in shepherding controversial programs to successful adoption by elected leaders. There’s a lot of meat in this week’s articles.
“The highest result of education is tolerance.” — Helen Keller
As we jump in, let’s keep Keller’s wisdom in mind and explore how we can foster understanding and effective communication in our communities.
Disagreements Are Healthy. How to Stop Making Them Toxic
Relationship columnist Elizabeth Bernstein offers practical advice from conflict resolution experts on how to engage in tough conversations effectively in the May 20 issue of the Wall Street Journal. Key strategies include planning ahead, actively listening, and discussing ways to move forward. Here are my takeaways.
Plan Ahead: Before entering a difficult conversation, set clear goals, practice your message, and envision a positive outcome. Acknowledging upfront that you may not agree but want to understand each other can help start the conversation on the right foot. Commit to memory this quote from Dr. Thom Mayer, medical director of the NFL Players Association, before your next difficult conversation. “Hello, I need your help,” he said. “We are going to disagree, but we are going to have a discussion.” This is gold.
Actively Listen and Ask Questions: Listen without interrupting and summarize what the other person has said to ensure understanding. Ask deeper questions to uncover underlying values and find common ground. “There are always points of agreement, even if it’s as simple as you both wanting the conversation to succeed,” says Mylien Duong, a psychologist and senior director of research at the Constructive Dialogue Institute.
Discuss Next Steps: If the conversation gets heated, slow down and take breaks if necessary. Focus on how to move forward, agreeing to disagree if needed, and thank the other person for their willingness to engage in the discussion. Professional mediator Elizabeth Esrey notes, “People are giving you the gift of their time even if they disagree with you.”
One more great quote from the NFLPA’s Mayer: “The goal is not to ‘win’ the conversation, but to communicate important, if difficult, information in a way the other person can process and be heard themselves.”
How To Put a Country Back Together
Writing for Persuasion, Eboo Patel offers suggestions for how to foster pluralism to mend the social fabric of the United States. Patel, founder of Interfaith America and the author of We Need to Build: Field Notes For Diverse Democracy, focuses on the role of higher education in promoting pluralism. I think there are relevant takeaways for government leaders. Here they are.
Inspiration Over Victimization: Patel highlights the need for embracing diverse identities as sources of inspiration rather than victimization and argues that pluralism should bridge differences and promote cooperation. Avoid the simplistic binaries of “oppressed” and “oppressor.” He writes: “Pluralism seeks to cultivate the wide space between wokeness and whitewashing. It recognizes that Robin DiAngelo on the left and Ron DeSantis on the right are not the only two options on the intellectual landscape.”
Educate Yourself: Patel recommends the following for understanding and sharing the benefits of pluralism, including John Inazu’s Confident Pluralism; Diana Eck’s work on the Pluralism Project at Harvard; Kwame Anthony Appiah’s Cosmopolitanism; Robert Putnam and David Campbell’s American Grace; and the “Robbers Cave” study. These works provide insights into the importance of civility, cooperative engagement, and building friendships across diverse identities.
Sharpen Your Pluralism Skills: Pluralism is not just a knowledge base — it is also a skill set. Get better at the following (which happen to echo some of the suggestions about handling difficult conversations above):
How do you listen so someone else feels heard, not just as a pause between making your own points?
How do you tell a story that builds a relationship?
How do you ask a question that opens someone up rather than shuts them down?
How do you facilitate a dialogue where everyone leaves with a greater understanding of the situation, rather than a heightened suspicion of one another?
How do you create a space that feels like a potluck supper rather than a melting pot or battlefield—a space where diverse people are invited to bring their best dish to the table, where delicious combinations are created and enriching conversations are had?
Want to Connect with Your Audience? Stop Trying to Impress Them
Michael Foley offers practical advice for leaders on how to get people on board with their vision and work toward a common goal. Having great ideas and technical expertise is not enough; leaders must tailor their messages to their audience, balance data with stories, and focus on educating rather than impressing.
Tailor Your Message to Each Audience: Foley highlights the importance of customizing your content to match the specific interests and priorities of different audiences. “What does my audience really want to know about my topic, and why does it matter to them?” This approach ensures the message resonates and keeps the audience engaged.
Design Your Talk with Structured Improvisation: Instead of sticking rigidly to a script or completely winging it, Foley recommends a balanced approach called “structured improvisation.” He explains, “The structure shows the audience that you’ve done your due diligence and that you’re going to be crisp, clear, and on point.” This method allows for a natural and conversational delivery while ensuring key points are covered.
Focus on Audience Needs, Not Your Ego: Foley stresses the primary goal of a presentation should be to educate the audience, not to impress them. “If my intention is to educate my audience on a vision, idea, or insight that will bring real value to their lives and/or their business, my focus is on them.” This shift in focus helps presenters relax and connect more effectively with their audience.
In Other’s Words
Joe Klein, best known for his work as a columnist for Time magazine and his novel Primary Colors, writes the Sanity Claus newsletter on Substack. He had a great piece, The Silent Slain, in remembrance of Memorial Day. There’s a section in it that gives me hope for the future of good governance. Klein recalls an interview with Gen. David Patraeus, who developed a new approach for counter-insurgency in the Middle East wars. Klein was embedded with U.S. troops in Afghanistan at the time. “Petraeus taught the Army to govern, to do community policing in small towns, to win over the people with public works projects and protection from the bad guys, to knock on doors, in his famous phrase, rather than knocking them down,” he writes. “It worked in Iraq; not so much in Afghanistan.” And he continues with this:
At one point, after watching a young American Captain do his job—and win over the population—in the Afghan village of Sanjaray, I called General P and said, “You realize that your counter-insurgency training is going to create the next great generation of American politicians?”
I still believe that. The veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan know an important thing: they know that politics is not showbiz. They know the damage that an actual bullet can do to the human body. They have held fallen comrades in their arms. They know that this most significant decision that a politician can make should not be influenced by polls or appearances, or by advice from theorists who’ve never been to war. There are extremists and violence-lovers among them, but most veterans I know are members of the Sanity Caucus. As David French writes, beautifully, in The New York Times today, the experience of combat creates a sad maturity, a premature old age—a time when you are young and friends are dying, a political sobriety that stands witness against the showboats and the silly.
They understand that service is a requirement of citizenship. They understand that community emerges from shared sacrifice. They know that these values have to be central to a healthy Republic.
Politics is not showbiz should be etched on the entrance to the U.S. Capitol.
Next week is the first Wednesday of the month, which means it’ll be time for our regular TL;dr focused on Artificial Intelligence. The first Wednesday is also when SGR hosts its free Wednesday Webinar on AI featuring Micah Gaudet, deputy city manager of Maricopa, Arizona. His next topic is AI for Community Service. Learn more and register here. It’s free!
Onward and Upward.